Wonder Woman

I’ve ALWAYS loved Wonder Woman; she was the only superhero I ever wanted to be.  I even wrote into Jim’ll Fix It asking to be her (I won’t dwell on that, though).

Yesterday I thought I might get my chance to emulate the great lady’s style.

I went to pick up our eldest son and our niece from school and decided we’d take the puppy for a walk afterwards as it was fine.

Our niece came out laden with stuff with a bulging pencil case in tow that she told me wouldn’t fit in her bag, so I put it under the pram.

When we got back we realised that the pencil case must have bounced out along the way (there’s some pretty rough terrain, I can tell you) and was nowhere to be found.

‘I’ll save the day!’ I thought to myself, with hands on hips, head held high and chin jutting confidently, so I found a quiet spot in which to spin round and transform into my superhero gear (my duvet coat with poo bags in the pocket) and phoned my father-in-law to come round to watch the children.

Then, with my trusty sidekick in tow (the puppy, who thought all her Christmases had come at once, being taken out for ANOTHER walk) I retraced our steps.

I realised I needed to put my super powers into play, and quick, if I was going to be Super Auntie of the Hour.

I used my supersonic jumping power to hurdle over twigs, branches and steaming piles of horse poo along the way; I used my superhuman strength to fight my way through some particularly stubborn foliage; I used my indestructable bracelets (well, my watch) to deflect a low flying bird with a death wish.

My ‘Lasso of Truth’ was used to ensnare a passing squirrel and interrogate him about the missing item but after several minutes of animated squeaking I could tell that he genuinely hadn’t seen it. (I didn’t take the tiara with me.  I thought it might attract too much attention).

Did I come back triumphant, holding the pesky pencil case aloft?  No.  But I did make them a cracking chicken dinner. In your face, Wonder Woman.  Super powers are all very well but can you do creamy mashed potato?  I didn’t think so 🙂