Terrible Twos

The terrible twos have started,

What does the future hold?

We wait nervously with baited breath,

For the chaos to unfold.

 

Our cherubic, delightful toddler,

Always with a toothy smile on his face,

Will doubtless turn into a monster,

Just sit back and watch this space.

 

He’ll want everything just his own way,

And will scream when he doesn’t get it,

He’ll throw himself upon the floor,

And everyone will dread it.

 

He’ll try to bite both his brothers,

Toys from other children he’ll snatch,

He’ll be on the lookout to escape,

Whenever the door’s on the latch.

 

I’m hoping he’ll still be full of giggles,

Fun, laughter and cuddles,

Funny voices for the puppy,

Dancing and splashing in puddles.

 

He’ll say more words and phrases,

Of which we’ll feel so proud,

Until he shouts out, ‘BOOBIES!’

Loudly and in a crowd.

 

Then starts the joy of potty training,

The novelty of every loo,

In every single place we go,

And when we’re outside, too.

 

We’ll have more teething and tantrums,

Learning colours and starting to draw,

Shapes, animal names and noises,

Answering every question with ‘no.’

 

He’ll ask ‘Why?’ so many times,

It’ll be like toddler Tourettes,

Glasses of wine imbibed will grow steadily,

The more persistent he gets.

 

We’ll take the plunge reluctantly,

To put him in a ‘big boy’ bed,

Even though he’ll keep getting in with us,

And our sex life will be pronounced ‘dead’.

 

It’s the start of very trying times,

Of completely unreasonable behaviour,

I’ll choose a corner to rock and dribble,

And wine will be my saviour.

 

With our older children I’ve tried to forget,

Just how testing it can be,

But I still wouldn’t change a hair on his head,

Happy 2nd birthday, our sweet Zachary. 🙂