So Not Funny

I’m going to tell you a sad little tale and you must promise not to laugh.  Promise?  I didn’t laugh AT ALL when my husband told me this story last night, so you shouldn’t either.  Because it is SO not funny.  OK?

Right, here goes. (Cue violins).

Yesterday my husband walked into a shop (it’s not one of those ‘a man walked into a bar and said ‘Ouch” jokes, honest.  He actually walked into a shop).

Anyway, he went into the shop to buy a bottle of water.  Whilst he was waiting, he noticed an elderly gentleman with a dog standing next to him.  He exchanged pleasantries and bent down to stroke the dog (because my husband loves animals, especially dogs, honest he does).

Whilst stroking the dog my husband noticed that the dog had only three legs, two at the front and one at the back.  He felt sympathetic, because, like I said, he genuinely loves dogs.

My husband was next in line and as he walked forward, something happened which he’s not proud of.  It also isn’t funny, just in case you didn’t get that.

He moved forward and as he did so, by some freak of nature, he accidentally managed to get his foot caught in the dog’s only back leg and in true ninja style, swept it clean out from underneath it.

Unsurprisingly, the dog fell over, having completely lost its balance.  It didn’t stand a chance.  It was an entirely unprovoked attack and the dog couldn’t possibly have seen it coming.

There it was, minding its own business and loyally waiting for its owner, when a 6’2″ stranger with very poor spatial awareness had, cruelly and without warning, knocked it clean off its (three) feet.

Like the poor thing didn’t have enough problems already.  It was too shocked even to growl.

There was an awkward moment when nobody said anything and the dog tried to get up off the floor.

Then my husband, with burning cheeks and NOT suppressing laughter because he felt REALLY bad for what he had done, grabbed his bottle of water and made his retreat.

He could see that the dog (whilst probably humiliated and emotionally scarred for life) wasn’t physically injured and had managed to right itself after only a couple of attempts, so he cut his losses and backed sheepishly out of the shop, apologising profusely to the dog and the owner.

I have to question what sort of man I’m married to as he admitted that he actually LAUGHED when he got back to his van.  You wouldn’t catch me doing that.

See?  I told you it wasn’t funny.

Happy Friday, everyone 🙂