Secret Weapon

I’m going to a pub quiz tonight with my buddies.  We’ve been to pub quizzes before and always invariably come last, because we have about as much general knowledge between us as my two-year old…and that’s probably being unfair to him.  We’ve also usually had a few drinks so we’re the token comedy team, who sit leaning forward intently listening to the questions, pen poised at the ready.  We always start with suitably studious expressions on our faces…that slowly turn to panic…and then resignation.  And then we get another round of drinks in.

Then occasionally, one of us will have a ‘light bulb’ moment or clarity and think of the answer to some highly intellectual question about geography…or history…or politics.  We’ll all begin to talk at once: ‘Of course!  Why didn’t I think of that?!’  ‘It’s so obvious when you think about it!’  ‘I KNEW that, it was on the tip of my tongue!’…and then we’ll be spectacularly wrong.

But not any more.  Oh no.  My team now has a secret weapon.  Me.  Why?  Well, certainly not because I’ve got any cleverer or broadened my horizons any.  On the contrary, if you’ve ever spoken to me or seen my previous posts or tweets, you’ll know I tend to talk about excrement and wine for a large part of my day.

So what’s my ammunition?  The fact that I’m now, wait for it, a ‘Content Writer’.  Ta daaah!  Sounds impressive, doesn’t it?  It’s not.  It’s not glamorous, either.  Or well paid.  But, through writing these articles and blogs I now have a wealth of useless information that I didn’t possess before.

So we’re going to win.  I’m sure of it. That is, if they ask about any of the following subjects:

• How to learn sail a yacht.
• Rehabilitating monkeys on a gap year in South Africa.
• Cream whippers (sound much more kinky than they actually are).
• How a feather duvet can tackle your allergies.
• School skiing trips.
• Waipoua Forest in New Zealand.
• Photo opportunities in Amsterdam.
• Must-see places in Chicago.
• Luxury bed linen.
• Remote towns in Wales.
• Property to buy and rent in Hanwell.
• Top UK family orientated destinations in the UK.
• Planning children’s parties.
• Photo gifts.
• Personalised cards.
• The best places to sell stuff online.
• River Nile Cruises.
• UK airports offering flights to Nairobi.
• The unique comfort and durability of men’s swimming jammers (again, sounds much more kinky than it actually is).

See?  As long as any of these popular, contemporary and highly relevant subjects come up, we can’t POSSIBLY fail to win 🙂