No Comment

My blog is broken and I’m waiting for someone to fix it. Unfortunately my ‘ticket’ number is 11368681; I really hope this doesn’t indicate a queue and my position in it.

I really don’t want to be eighty-five with cataract and arthritic knees before this issue is resolved. I’m going to presume (always a dangerous thing to do) that this number is the number of inquiries there have been over a period of time and they’re not all being dealt with today (please, God).

I can blog (obviously, I’m doing it now) but there’s no comment option. I know, because I tried repeatedly last night, with each practice comment getting ruder and more obnoxious each time it chose not to appear, especially when it told me, ‘this comment has already been submitted.  I think you may be repeating yourself!’

Ha ha! F*** OFF.

I realise I’m personifying comments like they’re mischievous little elves that are playing with me, possibly sticking out their tongues and wiggling their fingers on each side of their head in a, ‘Ner, ner, ner-ner ner’ kind of way but I can’t help taking it personally.  Comments worked…and then they didn’t.  Bastards.

As far as I’m aware I haven’t changed any fundamental settings but what would I know? I could have released a UN missile or accidentally sent a shuttle into space and I’d be oblivious. I’d just keep tapping away on my keyboard, ticking and un-ticking boxes, changing options, swearing, and meanwhile all hell could be breaking loose. I feel like the President on Monsters Vs. Aliens:

Maybe, on some subliminal level, I’ve purposely cocked up my discussion settings so that people can’t tell me I’m crap.  I’m like one of those ‘read only’ sites, I’ll blog about stuff and you can read it but no interaction for me, thank you very much.  Anyone would think this is ‘social’ media or something!

By giving people no comment I can pretend that LOADS of people are trying to leave me amazing feedback and going away distraught, anguished and frustrated because they can’t, rather than thinking that no-one cares one way or another about my poor, neglected little blog *sob*.

More than likely I’m just a technical f***wit and I shouldn’t be let within a thousand miles of a laptop but TAH-DAH! here I am.  PLEASE don’t make me go back to teaching; I’ll only have to use interactive whiteboards if I do and in case I haven’t stressed it enough: TECHNOLOGY IS NOT MY FRIEND. And beware: it could be your child that I teach next.  You don’t want to inflict that on them, now do you?

So, until the issue is resolved, amigos, I’ll be sitting here, staring numbly at my screen, until my bloodstream turns into pure caffeine or Fat Cow gets back to me (I’m not being offensive; that’s the name of my domain host.  I might be if they don’t resolve the issue, though ;)).

*Disclaimer: My friend, Ben has since cleverly discovered that all comments are going into my spam folder so they’ve been there all along, I just couldn’t find them.* Yay!  I don’t have to get a ‘proper’ job after all (my husband will be pleased).  So if you’ve commented, thanks and I’ll be getting back to you shortly.  I bet you thought I was ignorant, didn’t you?  Well the good news is I’m not; I’m just stoopid! 😉

Included as part of Actually Mummy’s ‘Wot So Funee?’ Blog Hop.