I’m a Mother…Get Me Out of Here!

I reckon anyone who’s a parent is MORE than qualified to be a contestant on ‘I’m a Celebrity…’ because we carry out our very own Bushtucker Trials EVERY DAY:

• Rank Banquet – I’m betting that your face looks something like Jordan’s whenever your children have made something at school and they want you to taste it.  Kangaroo testicles, anyone?

• Hell Holes – ever been reaching for a toy that one of the kids has dropped under the settee without being able to see what you’re looking for?  Old bits of toast, clumps of dog hair, a sweet from last Christmas…you get my drift.

• Aquatic Strife – try blindly searching for the plug, face cloths and bath toys in the grimy bath water of three little boys when you know all of them has weed and farted (or worse) in it.  I’d rather root around for stars in a crocodile infested lake, thank you very much.

• Bushman’s Bungalow – every day in our house is ‘Bushman’s Bungalow’.  Every time I open a cupboard or go under the stairs something falls out on top of me; the bin nearly always smells like something may crawl out at any moment and I live in constant fear that something is about crawl out of the washing basket…

• Celebrity Cyclone – just walking to school up a hill, pushing a pram containing a heavy toddler with a preschooler, a moany seven year old and sometimes a puppy in tow in the pouring rain is worse than any pesky reality TV challenge (and we nearly always end up back at our starting point, either to clean teeth, grab a forgotten bag or just sack it altogether and get in the car).

I’m not even going to TRY and find any similarity with (or a picture of) ‘Who Wants to Eat a Willy on Air?’, but here’s me:

…having my morning shower…

…doing my daily workout (well, you need to stay in shape when you’ve got kids)…

…when my children wake up in the night and I think my husband hasn’t heard them…

…and when my husband tells me we’ve run out of wine. 🙂