Home Sweet Home

I was going to take the little ones to a toddler group this morning, but came to the conclusion that it might be less stressful staying at home.  Zach doesn’t like playing with toys anyway, so why pay for him to have an open door to get out of (see Losing Things) when we have securely locked ones here for free? 

Also, in the comfort of his own home, he can have all the fun of the fair; he can whack his brother on the head with a wooden spoon, play ‘peepo’ from behind the curtains, turn REAL appliances on and off instead of just pretend ones, climb onto window sills, settees, toy boxes, tables, chairs and me, with the added bonus of being able to do it all with no pants on, so if he does get bored, he can always play with his willy.  

Being at home should also quell the urge to visit Pet Warehouse, because he has an animal show right here, with the dog and cat scrapping, hissing, barking and chasing each other.

Max can still have his spectacular tantrums at home, he’s not fussy.  The only down side for him is that he doesn’t have a captive audience here, but he did at my friend’s little boy’s Christening yesterday, so he shouldn’t feel too disappointed.

At home he can also ditch the wig that covers the horns and the ‘666’ branded on his forehead.  And as it’s going to be a full moon tonight, we never know the exact time that he will start to ‘turn’; we just know that when it happens he’s better off surrounded by those who love him, in spite of the howling and the sprouting fur and fangs.

For me, the bonus of staying at home is that even though Zach will still use me as a climbing frame and I’ll still have to keep retrieving him from places he shouldn’t be, and even though Max will still flick from Jekyll into Hyde without warning, I have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on loop, locked doors and my own little space where I can be safe from mortifying embarrassment.  For today, anyway…