Giz a Job…I Can Do That

I went for an interview yesterday (which I did LOADS of preparation for, for the record) and found out this morning that I haven’t got the job.  Just what qualities are they looking for that I don’t already have?

They want someone who can problem solve?  No problem – if managing to clean shit off a wriggling toddler one handed whilst trying to stop him eating it with the other isn’t problem solving, then I don’t know what is.

They want someone who can deal with conflict situations?  Have they ever SEEN our eldest two scrapping over the I Pad? (Obviously I may try alternative tactics to screaming like a banshee at clients and threatening to bang their heads together; although the sight of me in full harpy mode would probably distract them long enough to resolve the conflict anyway…)

They want someone organised?  Give me strength – I have to write everything down in at least four places so I don’t forget it and I’m basically packed for a holiday that is nearly two weeks away.  How organised do they need a person to be?

They want someone friendly and approachable.  I AM friendly and approachable for AT LEAST two weeks out of every month.

They want a person who can multi-task; you only need to read Marvellous Multi-Tasking to see just how talented I am in this particular area of expertise.

Finally, they need someone reliable; I think my friends could vouch for the fact that I can always be relied upon to drink copious amounts of alcohol at any given time and I bet none of them can say this is an area in which I’ve ever let them down (and tonight will most certainly be no exception).

What more could they possibly want in a successful candidate? 🙂