Festive Cheer

As it’s almost the festive season, I thought I’d describe my day so far in my own version of three Christmas songs:

When Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney

When Mummy got woke in the night,

She began to shout,

‘All you boys, won’t get any toys,

If you keep stressing me out!’

 

‘Eye bags are big, my temper is short,

My eyelids feel like glue.’

When Mummy got woke in the night,

What’s new? What’s new? What’s new?

 

Jingle Bells

What the hell?  What the hell?  Where is our Christmas tree?

We ordered it three weeks ago, wherever can it be?

What the hell?  What the hell?  Where is that online purchase?

The company ain’t answering the phone,

And probably won’t ’til after Christmas.

 

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Pepper the naughty puppy,

Is really getting on my wick,

After pooing on the floor and chewing,

A piece of wood into tiny matchsticks.

 

Pepper the naughty puppy,

Is going to find her jaw wired shut,

So a child’s new reading bag,

Isn’t taking residence in her gut.

 

And on foggy Christmas eve…

…if she lives that long,

Pepper, if you touch those pretty gifts,

It’s going to cause a major rift.

 

So we’ll spray the anti-chew spray,

And have to hope your mouth stays shut,

Or else, Pepper, our precious poochie,

Christmas dinner will be roast loin of mutt. 🙂