CarbFest

 

Last weekend I was one of the hundreds of people attending BlogFest.  This weekend I was the CEO of my very own CarbFest.

Last weekend I greedily consumed knowledge about blogging.  This weekend I greedily consumed my body weight in cooked dough.

Last weekend I greeted fellow bloggers with open arms.  This weekend I greeted anything containing white flour and yeast with open arms.

Last weekend the keynote panel discussed, ‘The New Wild West – what kind of internet do we want?’  This weekend my family and I discussed, ‘Pizza Lovers United – what kind of toppings do we want?’

Last weekend I moved swiftly from session to session.  This weekend I moved slowly from fattening carbohydrate to fattening carbohydrate.

Last weekend I travelled down to London.  This weekend I just about managed to roll off my settee to go into the kitchen.

Last weekend I learned about social media and SEO.  This weekend I learned that too much white bread makes me awfully bloated.

Last weekend I heard lots of different people speaking on their specialist subjects.  This weekend I heard lots of imaginary voices shouting ‘Eat me!’ to which I replied, ‘OK, then!’

Last weekend I made detailed notes about each session.  This weekend I studiously ignored the number of calories I was consuming.

Last weekend I received a sumptuous goody bag full of delicious treats.  This weekend ma belly became a sumptuous goody bag full of delicious treats.

Last weekend I tried a variety of new things.  This weekend I tried anything that wasn’t breathing and contained more than a thousand calories.

Last weekend was sponsored by Coca-Cola, Talk Talk, Mark Warner, Honda and Red & Yellow Care.  This weekend was sponsored by www.fatchuffer.com

Last weekend we questioned, ‘Future Minds – how will technology shape how we think?’  This weekend I questioned, ‘Mid-life Spread – how will my gluttony shape how I fit into my jeans?’

Last weekend I learned how to make money from my blog.  This weekend I learned how to give myself severe heartburn and indigestion.

Last weekend we were asked the question, ‘Can you be a mummy blogger and a feminist?’ This weekend I was asked the question, ‘Do you want more pizza?’  The short answer to both? ‘Yes’, of course!

Last weekend I acquired useful information.  This weekend I have acquired nothing but extra arse lardage.

Last weekend I drank wine…OK, OK, that’s where the differences end.