Blitzing Bonanza

So far, by sorting just through the cupboards in our bedroom today, I have found (and this is honestly no exaggeration):

• Four new contact lens cases.  Just one of these would have come in very handy on our weekend in Cumbria when I forgot to take the one I’m currently using; it would have saved resorting to two glasses by the side of the bed that I was constantly worried Eric would mistakenly drink after having a few shandies.
• A parasol for a pushchair that we had for Josh when he was a baby – that would be six years ago, then.
• Whoopee, an abdominal toner! Not that I have any intention whatsoever of using it at any point for the rest of my life, but still…
• I kid you not, I have found not one, not two, but EIGHT lipsticks and two lip balms.  A couple probably date back to the eighties but I genuinely think some of them are recent enough purchases to use without my lips swelling up from some sort of nasty infection, so that’s a bonus.
• Some Tesco vouchers that add up to approximately six pounds…or would have done if I’d used them by the expiry date of September 2009.  I might try to redeem them anyway and ask them to take inflation into account – they’re probably worth at least a tenner by now.
• You know how you can never find a pen when you need one?  I’ll never have that problem again after finding ELEVEN (and a permanent marker).
• A two for one voucher for Pizza Hut…for 4th April 2005.  I was pregnant with Josh at the time so I might keep that for sentimental reasons…or maybe not.  I don’t even like Pizza Hut.
• A very squashed tampon which, to use an old Victoria Wood gag, I might keep as a weapon to shove up a mugger’s nose in the hope that he’ll get Toxic Shock Syndrome.
• LOTS of receipts because I’m VERY organised like that and you never know when you might need to return or exchange something.  The only trouble is that they’re so old that all the type has faded from them so I haven’t got a clue what they’re for and I probably no longer own the items, anyway.
• EIGHTEEN batteries – and before anyone says anything smutty, they are from Christmas for the children’s toys and will still be used for that purpose, thank you very much.
• And, as the cherry on the cake, £11.25 and a few euros.

See, cleaning up wouldn’t be NEARLY so rewarding if done on a regular basis.  If I hadn’t left it so long I wouldn’t have made so many exciting discoveries, reminisced about the past or felt so in need of a shower after stumbling across a few rare strains of house mite.

I can barely contain the excitement of what I might find when I get round to doing the rest of the house! 🙂