Angry Mother Alert

We’ve just returned from a two week holiday in Majorca which was absolutely fantastic in every way.  One of the main strengths was that the staff and other holidaymakers were really friendly, with one exception…

It was the second to last day and lots of kids were going down the waterslide on lilos; our seven year old asked if he could do the same so I said, ‘Yes, as long as you’re careful.’  I went to check on him a few minutes later and he was having a great time so I went back in the baby pool with our youngest two.

Shortly afterwards he came over in tears and said that a man had shouted at him for bumping the lilo into his little girl.  I told him not to worry about it as long as it was an accident and he’d said he was sorry, at which point he revealed that the man had called him ‘a clown’ and shook his fist at him.

Whoa.  Telling him to be more careful or watch where he was going was one thing but I felt this was excessive, not least because Josh was too frightened to go back on the slide.

At this point they may as well have set off a siren in the hotel with flashing red lights and a Dalek-like voice announcing, ‘ANGRY MOTHER ALERT!  ANGRY MOTHER ALERT!’

‘HE CALLED YOU WHAT?’ I intoned in my dangerously low voice that I keep for when I’m REALLY mad. ‘HE DID WHAT?’ I asked through gritted teeth.  ‘Show…me…where…he…is.’

‘No Mummy, you’ll make it worse.  He’ll get cross that I’ve told you.’  My eyes flashed in a Terminator-like styley and I said quietly, ‘You let me worry about that.’

I marched over to the man in question.  ‘I believe my little boy has just accidentally bumped into your daughter with his lilo’, I said.  ‘Yes, nearly took her head off, he did.  Read the signs!’  They would be the non-existent signs, then? I thought, as he started to walk away.

‘Just hold on a minute.’  He paused in his retreat, turned and looked at me expectantly, no doubt expecting an apology.  ‘I believe he apologised several times and I’ve told him to be more careful, but do you really think it’s appropriate for a grown man to call a seven year old child ‘a clown’ and shake your fist at him?’ I enquired.

‘He nearly took her head off!’ he repeated.  Now I’ve done conflict training and I know scorn and sarcasm aren’t the methods used to win friends and influence people, but I couldn’t help it.  ‘He almost took her head off?  With a PLASTIC inflatable lilo?  I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you?’

He hesitated, so I went in with my closing gambit.  ‘It’s fair enough telling him off but do you think that terrorising a seven year old child, having him in floods of tears and too scared to go back on the slide is behaviour that your little girl would look up to and respect?’ I asked him (he’s not the only one who can exaggerate).

Then, before he could answer (or hit me), I finished with, ‘Because in my eyes that makes you a bully.’

He stared at me, open-mouthed for a few seconds as though he couldn’t believe that suddenly he wasn’t the injured party anymore, then said, (I think just to get away from me more than anything), ‘Lessons to be learnt on both sides, then.’

‘Right’ I snapped, glaring at him.  Then I flounced off…as well as you can flounce carrying a twenty month old toddler on one hip and trying desperately not to slip on the wet tiles.

Yes, lessons to be learnt on both sides indeed.  For him – NEVER underestimate an angry mother.  For me – always hold your head high when walking away from a confrontation, even when you’re aware that your bikini bottoms are wedged halfway up your bum 😉